{"id":146,"date":"2024-10-21T09:44:40","date_gmt":"2024-10-21T09:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/mme-el\/?p=146"},"modified":"2024-10-21T09:44:40","modified_gmt":"2024-10-21T09:44:40","slug":"conversations-with-mme-el","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/mme-el\/conversations-with-mme-el\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversations with Mme El"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

I <\/span>have had many conversations with Mme El, learning a lot <\/span>about her life, even if her memory has been gradually fading <\/span>over the years, which does not impair her ability to think <\/span>when dealing with the issues of the present, like for example <\/span>incidents with L\u00e9onine or with the nurses or comment on <\/span>newspaper reports we\u2019ve just read.<\/span>
Mme El is frank, straight-forward, you know where you <\/span>are with her, she has principles, clothes don\u2019t matter, she <\/span>doesn\u2019t deceive, hates gossip, sizes up her fellows pretty well, <\/span>philosophizes about life \u2013 \u2018es atal\u2019- and has no intention of <\/span>leaving this funny world with its Ukraines, Syrias, etc. just yet.<\/span>
She appreciates my company and I hers, my human contact <\/span>here, and I see a great deal more of her than her son, a busy <\/span>musician whose sphere of competence is mainly outside the <\/span>house.\u00a0<\/span>
L\u00e9onine was complaining to me about her mother-in-law.
\n<\/span>The following, I heard, had happened, but I don\u2019t know how <\/span>it came about : Mme El had wee weed on the pretty shoes of <\/span>the young and insolent nurse Odile, one of the nurses who <\/span>come in three times a day to help with the care. And instead <\/span>of apologizing for this deplorable incident, L\u00e9onine told me <\/span>indignantly, Mme El, when upbraided for her misdeed, had <\/span>answered: \u2018That\u2019s the risk of the trade!\u2019 It made Steve laugh <\/span>when I told him, but not Odile and L\u00e9onine who were fuming <\/span>at the outrage! I gather, Odile and Mme El don\u2019t get on, the <\/span>reason being clear to me: the young woman, younger than <\/span>Mme El\u2019s grandsons, is just a bit too cheeky or disrespectful, <\/span>inspired by the domestic example, for referring to Mme El\u2019s <\/span>tired looks, dark around the eyes, did she not ask whether <\/span>Mme El had been \u201ccelebrating during the night\u201d! \u2013 and what <\/span>exactly she did to enable Mme El who only moves with great <\/span>difficulty, to get her own back, I haven\u2019t a clue. It wouldn\u2019t<\/span>
have happened with Clare, I said to L\u00e9onine who agreed, but <\/span>was adamant that Mme El had behaved abominably.<\/span>
I left it at that and didn\u2019t tell her Mme El\u2019s comment on the <\/span>death at the hands of the enemy of certain young soldier who <\/span>was being mourned in the press nationwide. She said \u2018when <\/span>he signed the contract, he knew it might cost him his life\u2019. I said <\/span>nothing in reply and she \u2018I\u2019m being wicked\u2019, with a questioning <\/span>look. I told her she was realistic.<\/span>
Mme<\/span> El, who worries about having been too hard on her <\/span>son in his early years \u2013 does he bear her a grudge by any <\/span>chance and for this reason never spends any time with her? Is <\/span>the unasked question -, has to bear her packet like everyone <\/span>else. Wouldn\u2019t it be good if her heart gave in at home, like <\/span>her father\u2019s did one night after a good meal? Heart or not, <\/span>she\u2019s got to pull her own clothes down and up again for the <\/span>loo-business, once more wetting the whole area, but was not <\/span>reprimanded, I was there when it happened.<\/span>
At our last meeting I challenged Mme El on her understanding <\/span>of \u2018pardonner\u2019, to pardon. What exactly does the word mean?<\/span>
She gave the explanation \u2018passer l\u2019\u00e9ponge\u2019, forget it.<\/span>
I had wanted to gradually approach the thorny subject of <\/span>marital fidelity, but we never got there for the simple reason <\/span>that she didn\u2019t need prompting but volunteered \u2018je ne <\/span>pardonne pas!\u2019. If anybody harms or hurts her, that\u2019s the end <\/span>of that person, she won\u2019t have anymore to do with that one.<\/span>
I believe she meant deliberate harm and I was trying to think <\/span>of examples in my own life, the man with the sledge-hammer.<\/span>
Indeed, the issue of pardon had never arisen. Somebody <\/span>would have to ask for it, of course. Then I was thinking of <\/span>neighbour Rose. Behaving nastily is not the same as harming. I <\/span>couldn\u2019t say that I was harmed or hurt, she had upset me, it is <\/span>true, but I had calmed down again. I didn\u2019t get anywhere with <\/span>Mme El on this subject. For her the case was clear: no pardon <\/span>ever from her, even if the church preaches it, but she isn\u2019t of <\/span>the church, she points out, much as she insists on seeing T.V. <\/span>mass on a Sunday and answers my challenge in this respect by <\/span>saying \u2018it\u2019s to spend time\u2019, with a questioning look. Rock-hard <\/span>and uncompromizing, hard and straight, two words she likes <\/span>to use, quite awesome really and no doubt not appreciated <\/span>by some.<\/span>
Mme El read a newspaper article to me about the Mayor <\/span>of Pamios (Pamiers)<\/span>4<\/a><\/sup>Pamios (Pamiers), the largest city of the Ari\u00e8ge department, centre of the Inquisition in the thirteenth to fourteenth centuries.<\/span><\/span>, who<\/span> is her age, eighty-eight.: he has <\/span>had donkeys years at the helm and wants to be candidate for <\/span>another term in the forthcoming municipal elections. The job <\/span>keeps him alive.<\/span>
How much longer? Mme El says at her age it\u2019s time to go, <\/span>but adds that she doesn\u2019t really feel like it. Destiny will rule, <\/span>anyway.<\/span>
Mme El\u2019s doctor had been to give her a check-up before <\/span>she goes into the rest-home for a fortnight while her people <\/span>are away on their cruise. He found his patient in very good <\/span>condition, even if nothing can be done about the loss of <\/span>memory which L\u00e9onine calls \u2018perdre la t\u00eate\u2019, \u2018go nuts\u2019. L\u00e9onine <\/span>was in good spirits because the good result was entirely <\/span>imputed to her care, not altogether unjustifiedly so, and to <\/span>that of the nurses, keep it up. As for Mme El, she was quite <\/span>bewildered by all this talk about her health, but she certainly <\/span>understood the significance of the doctor\u2019s findings. \u2018What <\/span>about me?!\u2019 she said, \u2018I\u2019m the one who\u2019s happy!\u2019 and so be it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mme El, now turned eighty-nine, wants to stay in her chair, <\/span>doesn\u2019t want to move on her legs because that\u2019s difficult <\/span>and painful, but she must because it makes life easier for her <\/span>\u2018carers\u2019. She protests that she doesn\u2019t want to \u2018go\u2019, but wants <\/span>to stay around, indefinitely? She hasn\u2019t given it a thought, she <\/span>lives in the present and with a shudder applies herself to her <\/span>favourite column in the newspaper, the \u2018carnets\u2019, a bashful <\/span>designation for deaths. Most people of her generation have <\/span>\u2018gone\u2019, she is holding the fort!<\/span><\/p>\n