The Author has a certain idea of how we should meet blows of destiny, in this case the impending death of a relatively young man, Matt, the father of two children aged eight and \u2018not quite fourteen\u2019. The book covers the three months Matt is allowed to live from learning the diagnosis of his disease. It analyzes the psychology of the people involved with such a case, their reactions, their behaviour at various stages and their mastering, or supposed mastering, of the situation in the end.<\/p>\n
The narrator of the story is Shelley, the thirteen year old daughter. As it turns out, the Author is not interested in child-psychology, but only in putting over her own, rationalized views. The narrator is therefore not a living person, a character, but a stock-figure, a mouthpiece used to convey to the readers, children(!), the teachings of conventional psychology mingled with a few personal and totally irrelevant views and beliefs the Author holds. In some cases straight forward preaching is hardly disguized, one can tell the teacher.<\/p>\n
The Author stresses the ordinariness of the family in question, safely embedded in the consumer society with cornflakes for breakfast, T.V., shopping at Tesco\u2019s, etc. One family out of many. Nothing \u2018unusual\u2019 about them, \u2018except\u2019 that they \u2018all get on rather well\u2019 which probably has a positive sense, approving of a good example, but could not very well be the statement of a thirteen year old, if only for want of experience.<\/p>\n
A tragedy like theirs could happen to anybody, it is noted, and the Author draws a clear picture of what \u2018normally\u2019 happens under such circumstances, following basic laws of psychology.<\/p>\n
The motto is to coolly analyze all the reactions, break them down into their psychological components, thus enabling people to \u2018digest\u2019 their problem piece by piece :<\/p>\n
1\u00b0 First of all there is the fear of dreaded words like \u2018die\u2019 and \u2018death\u2019. Psychology teaches us that we have to learn to say them aloud, voice our troubles. This takes the sting out of them. The family duly goes through this process.<\/p>\n
2\u00b0 The next important thing is to laugh. It relaxes the tension and stops people from pitying themselves. It doesn\u2019t seem to matter how the laughter is produced, in extreme situations people will accept anything, even the most banal remark, if it will remove them from their troubles. The family willingly goes through this process, too :
\np.44 Matt: \u2018When I pop off, you\u2019ll be sickeningly wealthy with all the insurance money.\u2019
\np.45 Shelley; \u2018Making jokes about Matt\u2019s death was one important way we had developed for coping with the situation.\u2019
\np.45 Matt: \u2018Unless you laugh at Death, He gets the upper hand.\u2019<\/p>\n
3\u00b0 Another important psychological need under such circumstances is the presence of something one can hold on to and put one\u2019s faith in, a slightly tricky problem for non-religious people like the family involved. However, the Author provides the \u2018flash of blue\u2019 without ever insinuating what it does for them. A patch of blue in the sky, a blue kingfisher and at the end, all\u2019s well that ends well, a blue opal, a posthumous present from her father, a deus ex machina for lucky Shelley, which solves her problem for her.
\nIt is deplorable that the Author, who excels at analyzing a child\u2019s emotions for her, does not explain how these perfectly ordinary, natural phenomena can have this tremendous effect of giving \u2018hope and courage\u2019. For want of anything better one has to create an illusion and hang on to it as long as one needs to. After that the good old proverb \u2018Time is a great healer\u2019 will come into its own. The Author doesn\u2019t say this, but leaves us with the illusion. This is also true of the flowers on the grave which \u2018cried a lesson of hope and courage\u2019 (91). There is a fair jump from \u2018flowers\u2019 to \u2018hope and courage\u2019. Regrettably we don\u2019t learn how it comes about, it could have been a fine piece of psychoanalysis. And what about the thrush that starts to sing in time at the funeral ???<\/p>\n
4\u00b0 A popular saying tells us that \u2018there is always worse\u2019. The Author makes skilful and discreet use of this. If you can find something worse, your own trouble will be bearable. Thus, Matt would rather die than live in perpetual ill health. Shelley\u2019s brother Barney finds the grave of a three months old baby in the cemetery and comments: \u2018Isn\u2019t that sad!\u2019 The implication is obvious and comforting.<\/p>\n
5\u00b0 Make the best out of a bad situation is also a popular recommendation. Thus, the cemetery is not such a bad place after all, it is \u2018peaceful\u2019 and \u2018beautiful\u2019. And Matt died \u2018peacefully\u2019 (85), which is nice to know. All the friends and neighbours behave in the nicest possible way, and the funeral is a pleasant event. We hear that Matt would have liked it. We are relieved to learn that the family has pulled through, even though Barney has taken to \u2018bed-wetting\u2019 which, we hear from Shelley, \u2018betrayed his distress\u2019 (88).<\/p>\n
Here are a few examples of Shelley speaking, analyzing impressions and sensations on the spot. Not many adults do ! There is a fair deal of straight forward preaching. The Author would appear to be at odds with astronomy. She devotes a whole paragraph to the \u2018new moon\u2019 which shone, even through the tightly closed curtains\u2019. (33) She shows her appreciation of music by making Shelley call \u2018people like Brahms and Holst more soothing composers\u2019 (16) and an awareness of the problems Wagner deals with: \u2018in Wotan\u2019s world love has no power and yet without love power declines\u2019, according to Shelley.<\/p>\n The Author likes to use unusual imagery, its unusualness being its only merit : Sentimental platitudes and clich\u00e9s are also in abundance : The last statement is certainly not in keeping with Matt\u2019s view of death: \u2018we die, rot and thus create new life\u2019. It reveals basic helplessness where death is concerned and Matt\u2019s family revert to religion (church funeral) for want of something else, accepting to be comforted by social conventions, self-created illusions and suitable jokes at the right moment.<\/p>\n The book wants to show its young readers what happens when we are struck by disaster and how to accept it, cope with it and digest it. With the help of popular psychology, social conventions and home-made illusions one can reconcile oneself to something terrible. We have no choice after all.<\/p>\n Hopefully the Author will come forward with more books about how to accept murder, war, the Bomb, etc. etc. The Author has a certain idea of how we should meet blows of destiny, in this case the impending death of a relatively young man, Matt, the father of two children aged eight and \u2018not quite fourteen\u2019. The book covers the three months Matt is allowed to live from learning the diagnosis of his disease. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reading-aloud-2"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-c-k.com\/Readingaloud2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\np.9 \u2018She was wearing the pink one that makes her look fatter than she is<\/span>\u2019.
\np.12 \u2018Freda\u2019s mouth dropped open in satisfying<\/span> astonishment\u2019.
\np.13 \u2018Fear made me angry\u2019.
\np.18 \u2018Its bumpy, uneven surface gave me a sense of comfort<\/span>\u2019.
\np.25 \u2018This morning I moved smoothly from sleeping to consciousness, only a vague sense
\nof unease (the remnant probably of a dream forgotten on waking) marking the
\ndifference between the two states.
\np.30 \u2018the down-to-earth optimism<\/span> had always played such an important part in making me<\/span>
\n feel secure<\/span>\u2019.
\np.31 \u2018It scared me so much that the scare turned to unreasoning anger\u2019.
\np.51 eight year old Barney: \u2018death causes lots of upsets and changes things when you
\ndon\u2019t want them to be changed\u2019.
\nAnd many more.<\/p>\n
\np.50 Matt: \u2018Sometimes we only see what we want to see.\u2019
\np.62 Matt: \u2018Jealousy has got an ugly voice.\u2019
\np.22 Ellie: \u2018We\u2019re afraid you may dramatize the whole thing … go tragic … it wouldn\u2019t be
\ngood … Matt\u2019s afraid that you may give way to anger and self-pity\u2019.
\nAnd so on.<\/p>\n
\nShe also makes Matt say that he would like to \u2018sit on a star and see the universe turn\u2019. (54)<\/p>\n
\np.22 Shelley about peas she is eating: \u2018Each burst with a sweet freshness that for me
\nwas the taste of summer itself\u2019.
\np.24 \u2018I wandered through the house, eventually settling, lizard-like<\/span>, in a patch of sunlight.\u2019
\nThis is possible as an observation by an outsider, not as a statement from a child
\nabout herself.
\np.13 \u2018Visions of funerals invaded my head; a box disappearing into the ground, flowers,
\npeople in black clothes\u2019.
\np.65 \u2018I struggled up from the black waters of sleep\u2019. This is a child of thirteen speaking.<\/p>\n
\np.5 \u2018one day when the shadow falls and the process of learning to live under its shade\u2019.
\nWhat does \u2018its\u2019 refer to ?
\np.? \u2018water beads glinted like jewels in his untidy mop of curls\u2019.
\nSounds like a worshipping woman rather than a child.
\np.13 \u2018I could remember him saying once that he would like a tree planted on him when he
\ndied\u2019.
\np.69 Sh: \u2018I wish you didn\u2019t have to die.\u2019
\nMatt: \u2018Oh so do I, Shelley, so do I.\u2019
\nSh.: \u2018I won\u2019t ever forget you\u2019.
\nMatt: \u2018Good.\u2019
\np.91 \u2018Good night, I whispered, gazing up to the stars.\u2019<\/p>\n
\nMay I suggest to introduce a small amount of freshness and spontaneity for better reading. My younger daughter, twelve, called the book \u2018depressing\u2019, my elder daughter, sixteen, \u2018dry and boring\u2019.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"